


more than the rain to fear

by SaraJaye



Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: Angst, Canon Continuation, Concern, Fucked up childhood, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, Rain, Secrets, Triggers, allusions to incest, allusions to rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 17:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1949169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps, Saionji wonders, Touga isn't quite as fearless as he lets on. Continues from the flashback scene in episode 9.</p>
            </blockquote>





	more than the rain to fear

If there was one thing Saionji hated more than the dark, it was the rain. Apart they were bad enough, but together it made seeing impossible and more likely for someone to jump out and grab you out of nowhere. Wet, miserable and night-blind were the worst possible way to spend an evening. On top of that he'd just spent the scariest ten minutes of his life in a cemetary watching Touga talk to a girl in a coffin.

"And we didn't even accomplish anything," he muttered as they rode their bikes through the muddy street. "Not much of a prince, are you?" Touga shrugged.

"I did what I could. Maybe she'll be okay." He was soaked through to the skin but hadn't shown any sign of a shiver even once. "A chivalrous prince never leaves a girl in distress."

"It wasn't our place," Saionji sighed. "Rain, darkness and dead people. What's next, a trip to the chainsaw factory?"

"Saionji, you're such a scaredy-cat. A little rain never hurt anyone."

"You always say that. A little rain can't hurt, the darkness is nothing to fear, there's much worse in life." He ran a hand through his drenched ponytail, knowing he'd have tangles and frizz when it finally dried. "Sometimes I envy you. It's like you're not scared of anything." Touga's face became serious.

"Maybe I'm not." He kept pedaling, unaware of the oncoming car; Saionji grabbed his arm, pulling him and his bike out of the way. Mud splashed his face, but for once he didn't care.

"You _idiot!_ " he hissed. "You could've gotten yourself killed!"

"Oh." Touga ran a hand through his hair. "Thank you, Saionji."

"Sometimes I don't know what to do with you. You never want to go home until way after dark, you take stupid risks...are you _trying_ to get us killed?!" Touga's expression darkened for a moment before he smiled, patting Saionji's hair.

"You're too careful," he teased. "You base your life choices on fear and worry! That's no way to live!"

"Maybe I am, but you could _use_ a little more fear and worry in your life! Maybe then you wouldn't get us in so much trouble!" Again, Touga's expression went dark and Saionji immediately wondered if he shouldn't have said that. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing." Touga shrugged. "I just feel sorry for you is all."

"Touga, why don't you ever want to go home?" He moved a little closer, now more than a little worried about his friend. It wasn't the first time he'd seen that dark look on his face. "I know your parents are boring and your sister's a spoiled brat, but-"

"Never mind," Touga cut him off sharply. "I just...don't like being at home. It's nothing."

"Touga..."

"Let's just keep going. Your house is less than a mile away." Touga pedaled off, barely giving Saionji a chance to keep pace with him. By now he was more worried about his friend than the rain or the darkness. Touga never seemed afraid of anything, but sometimes he'd get that look in his eyes, like a deer in the headlights or a calf being led to slaughter. He knew the Kiryuus weren't the warmest people, but in that big house with all that money Touga couldn't have it _that_ bad.

"The truth is, Saionji...sometimes, I envy _you,_ " Touga said at length. "To have the luxury of..." He shook his head. "Never mind."

"Is something going on at home?" Saionji asked, stopping his bike again to put a hand on the other boy's shoulder. "You can tell me, you know. I'd never say anything, it's not like people listen to _me_ anyway." Touga's shoulders tensed and he seemed to take several deep breaths, swallowing before turning around to face him.

"Sometimes...my father and I don't get along." He seemed to choke on the word 'father', as if he hated to be calling Mr. Kiryuu that. "It's not a big deal, I just don't like to spend too much time with him." He pushed his hair aside unconsciously, revealing a mark on the side of his neck, and Saionji gaped.

"Where did _that_ come from? It's not mosquito season." Touga blanched, pushing his hair back to where it was.

"Nowhere!"

"Touga-" But the redhead pedaled onwards, Saionji struggling to keep pace with him. Soon they were at the front gates to his house, and Touga was panting heavily. "What's going on? You never get like this!"

"Just forget it. _Please._ " His tone was unusually desperate before returning to its usual cavalier self. "Besides, even if we did I'm doing this for _you,_ my friend. You need to come out of that shell of yours and experience life! Being afraid never wins anyone admirers!" At that, Saionji's concern began to fade and he once again remembered how soaked he was, giving Touga a dirty look.

"Hmph. And to think I actually felt sorry for you." He wrung out his ponytail. "I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

"Sure." Touga flipped his hair over his shoulder, the left one this time, and turned around. "Tomorrow."

He was barely out of sight before Saionji sighed, putting up a hand and calling out to him. His friend turned around, looking small and unsure in the distance, and Saionji couldn't help but smile.

"You can stay here tonight if you want. My parents won't care."

"I don't need your-"

"It's not pity! I just don't want you riding the rest of the way home, catching a cold and blaming _me_ for it," Saionji said, knowing the words were a lie. Well, almost. "You can borrow a pair of my pajamas." For the first time that evening he saw Touga smile, a real one as he walked his bike back towards the house.

"All right."

They took their warm baths separately and changed together, Saionji pretending not to see similar marks to the one on Touga's neck scattered across the rest of his naked body. Touga slept on the futon, the covers pulled unusually tightly around him for someone who feared nothing. The next morning, Saionji pretended he hadn't overheard Touga moaning and crying out in his sleep. And at school, once again Touga was the center of attention while Saionji felt like window dressing.

For once, he didn't resent his friend for this.


End file.
